Day 6, Part 2 - Exploring The Mitt

Day 6 part 2 marked the full assembled group that would travel to New Hampshire; approximately eleven bikes and fourteen people.  Seeing as how at the time of this writing the events are more than three weeks old, the following events may or may not have really occurred.  

What is known is that near the end of Day 6 we eventually came upon and crossed the Mackinac Bridge, which links Michigan’s Upper Peninsula with the Lower……well, it was often referred to as “The Mitt” by RayGar, which is probably better than calling it “the place everyone leaves for vacations.”  Our hope was to reach the bridge in late afternoon or early evening, allowing us to enjoy the thrill of crossing one of the world’s longest suspension bridges  It is officially billed as “world's longest suspension bridge between anchorages,” which seems to be a technicality to allow it to be distinguished from “the world’s longest suspension bridge between two dead bloated whales” or “the world’s longest suspension bridge between two states that are really the same state.”  Nevertheless, we were looking forward to getting to the “Mighty Mac” and crossing it.  Instead this is what we saw:

The Mackinac Bridge as seen by the weary riders.

Somehow we had fallen approximately eight or nine hours behind schedule – a theme that would come to personify the entire trip despite speeds routinely exceeding posted limits by…..ummm considerable margins.  We managed to get to our hotel on “the mitt” just before it closed (the hotel, not the mitt), tired, hungry, and thirsty.  With virtually no restaurants open (because even late shift cooks have to sleep sometime) it was decided to order pizza and of course garnish it with some beer.  Off went RayGar and some of the crew to fetch some beer from the local beer supplier….where they were promptly identified by local law enforcement as…..trouble.  Mostly because they were riding large loud motorcycles in the wrong direction…. on a one-way street…..in the wee hours of the morning...with foreign license plates.  With flashing lights ablaze our crew pleaded that they were unfamiliar with “the mitt” and the sympathetic officer allowed them to go on their way allowing the rest of us law abiding types to enjoy a parking lot pizza and beer party….until the fellow guests lodged complaints about the loud obnoxious people out in the parking lot.  By that time most of the goods had been consumed and the patrons had either drifted to their rooms or passed out.  Either way our Official First Day of the Museum Tour had concluded.

On the following morning it was decided that since we had traveled all the way up to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula without enjoying the site of the Mackinac Bridge, perhaps we could see it during the day.  After all we were only a beer run away from the bridge.  So we traveled back to the bridge, crossed it again, ending up back on the U.P. (as the locals – and now we) refer to it.  It should be mentioned that crossing the bridge demands a fee.  Four dollars per motorcycle in fact.  And if you’re pulling a trailer, as one of our tour members was, then it is six dollars.  Two bucks per axle.  It doesn’t matter that your axles are mere inches wide – two bucks per axle.  Now that we had crossed the bridge, it was time to continue our journey – which meant…….crossing the bridge yet again.  

Significantly lighter in the wallets, the riders prepare to cross the Mackinac Bridge yet again

Given the number of bikes (and trailers) in our group we estimate that our entire tour contributed roughly $216 to the state of Michigan thanks to bridge crossings alone.  Whether this money goes to the U.P. or “The Mitt” we’re not sure, but it very likely exceeds what we estimate is the total that the city of Detroit has been able to collect in taxes over the past year, so we left feeling positive about our experience.  

After this it was on to visit a unique area of The Mitt, referred to as The Blur of Trees, sometimes known by those who travel through it at reasonable speeds as The Tunnel of Trees.  The Blur is a 27 miles stretch of highway that is enclosed by a canopy of trees.  It has all of the attractions that motorcyclists love - curvy road, picturesque landscape, and unpredictable cage drivers that routinely cross the centerline in a 180 degree turn.  Since getting behind on our schedule had become a problem on the tour, RayGar took it upon himself to urge us on through the trees at a speed that likely would not have been okayed by a sympathetic officer.  Luckily we had a special high speed camera available that gives an approximation of what the Blur of Trees looks like when one is not traveling through it like Wiley Coyote riding an ACME rocket.

Special high speed camera catches the
trees that form the Blur of Trees

Having survived the Blur of Trees we looked at our progress and determined that despite RayGar’s expeditious attempts, we were still behind schedule.  Options were discussed and it was decided that not only would the All Bacon restaurant be sacrificed, but so too would be the thumb of The Mitt.  Such are the complications that come with such a journey.  This allowed us to reach the evening’s stop in Sarnia, Ontario only four hours past the scheduled time.  Perhaps we might have been a little earlier had not a certain RayGar been identified as a suspicious entrant at the U.S./Canada border.  While the entire Museum Tour party sailed through immigration without a problem, poor RayGar was asked to “please pull over to that inspection station, sir.”  Speculation that he answered questions such as “where were you born” and ‘what is your purpose in Canada” with “I'm just here for the syrup” remains.  While the rest of us looked on, RayGar’s bike was completely unloaded, every bag opened and we’re pretty sure we saw a pair of Mounties with whips, chains and fishnet stockings.  Eventually the “inspection” was concluded and we were all on our way to the evening’s rest in Sarnia. Day 6 had mercifully come to a close......